Rest Your Soul
by xIrelandx
Summary: Please don't kill me. I'd been wondering what the writers of Glee were going to do without Finn (R.I.P. Cory), and so I got prompted to do this thing and I am so sorry. This is my first ever Glee fic, and my first ever femmeslash fic. Title comes from the Jimmy Gnecco song of the same name.


Rachel wasn't sure what to think when she first got the news of how, although the bitter words 'like father like son' did cross her mind. She knew it wasn't fair, and was ashamed to think those words. But she was so angry – angry at Finn, at his father, at Kurt, at his mother, at Burt even, because nobody saw this coming. Worst of all, though, she was angry with herself. It was her responsibility to take care of Finn. Wasn't that what she promised when they first got engaged?

You're not engaged now, a little voice in her head reminded her. And you haven't been engaged for a long time, so quit blaming yourself. "Shut up!" Rachel yelled at the voice.

"Rachel?" Kurt calls from the kitchen, and Rachel quickly covers herself with her sheets before Kurt comes in and nags her to go to class. She supposes she should be thankful she has him, but he's been a nightmare this past week. He's all over the place, much like she is. She can't really blame him, but she doesn't have to like it either. Despite her strongest wishes, she heard his soft footsteps right outside her door, and an even knock before the door opens. "Come on, sleepyhead," Kurt encouraged. "You've gotta get up, you've got class in –" She hears Kurt whip his head around to look at the lopsided clock on the wall, its plastic cover smashed from where Rachel threw a shoe at it in a fit of rage.

"Shit," Kurt hissed. He picked up the pillow from underneath Rachel's head, and slamming it on top of her. "You're late! Your class started half an hour ago. What is wrong with you?"

Instead of retaliating, Rachel just curls in on herself. Which, if Kurt was going to be perfectly honest, was more worrying than the idea of her skipping class.

"In case you haven't noticed, my boyfriend died," Rachel murmured from under the covers.

"What?" Kurt sighed. She's been doing this a lot, slurring her words so that no one can hear.

"I said," Rachel snapped, sitting up, "My boyfriend just died, in case you haven't noticed?"

"God, why are you assholes awake?" Santana was rubbing the sleep from her eyes as she stood in Rachel's doorway. Her work at the bar's graveyard shift meant that a brawl at the early hour of eleven was most unwelcome. Her appearance in Rachel's doorway meant another thing: that Kurt could play the understanding best friend, because Rachel would get nothing but tough love from her Auntie Tana.

"Rachel's skipping class. Again."

As predicted, Santana picked up one of Rachel's dropped pillows from the floor and slammed it against her friend's face. Rachel groaned in agitation. "Why are you hitting me?"

"Because I want to know who you are and what you've done with Rachel Berry."

"I still am Rachel Berry, Santana, I just – "

"No," Santana countered, hands still on her hips. "Rachel Berry would never miss a class for anything. She loves school, she loves this school in particular and she loves learning. Performance is her life. This sad sack of shit I see before me is not my Rachel Berry –"

"Santana," Kurt glared, "Calm down."

"Calm down?" Santana gesticulated to where Rachel sat, puffy red cheeks highlighting the red lines of her eyes. "You see this and you want me to calm down?"

"Well yelling at her isn't going to help either!" Kurt snapped.

"Guys –"

"God Hummel, stop being so damn soft. Bitch has to get her ass up and moving –"

"Guys!" Rachel shouted. Santana and Kurt stopped their bickering to turn and look at their forlorn friend. But now that she had their attention, she wasn't sure what to say. "Look, I'm very…flattered that you guys care so much –"

"What makes you think it's about you, Berry?" Santana grumbled. "I just want you out of the damn house so I can finally get some sleep."

"I can't go to class," Rachel broke through. "I've tried, okay, and it just…it hasn't worked." She blushed, looking down to the threads fraying off of her quilt, twirling the strings so that they cut off the circulation to her fingers. "I keep breaking down," she whispered.

Santana sat down on the bed, pulling Rachel into a one-armed hug. "I know, baby," she said, pulling back. "But you gotta go to class. Look, once I've gotten more than a half-hour I'll talk to your teachers. We'll head back to Lima this evening, right Kurt?"

Kurt was flummoxed, having in no way agreed to this prior to the conversation; but seeing the hopeful look on Rachel's face, he couldn't really deny her. "Yeah," he sighed. "Sure. I'll make it work."

Rachel smiled. "Thank you."

Santana nodded and stood, turning to Kurt. "Alright, get the girl dressed and off to class. Oh, and run a brush through her hair. Looks like a tornado came and wrecked it out to Lady Gaga-land." Kurt scrunched his nose at the unfortunately realistic description.

"But Santana," Rachel asked. Santana looked over her shoulder at Rachel, eyebrows raised. "You don't even go here, how are you going to –"

Santana waved her hand. "I have my ways, don't worry about it."

Quinn had been waiting for this call. She and Rachel had kept up better contact then she'd thought they would when they left for college, but they hadn't spoken since Finn's death. Quinn didn't think it right to call Rachel first, since Rachel couldn't control her feelings as well as Quinn could. If Quinn tried to talk to her about what happened before she was ready, she might wind up embarrassing Rachel and destroying the fragile friendship they had.

So instead, Quinn had been waiting by the phone, holding it in her hand as she fell asleep, until this moment when it rang.

Quinn stared at the name on the caller ID, taking a deep breath before hitting the answer button. "I knew you'd be calling," she said in lieu of a hello.

Rachel sighed heavily. "So why didn't you call first?"

Quinn shrugged, knowing Rachel couldn't say it. "I didn't know if you were ready." There was an awkward pause as Rachel stopped to gather her thoughts, but Quinn broke through it. "Puck's trying to get us all back together, to sing something at the funeral. Do you…think you'll be up for that?"

"Yeah," Rachel shouted, but Quinn wasn't convinced.

"Rachel… Don't pretend to be ready. If you're not, then it's okay. Puck'll understand." And he would, because Quinn would make him.

"No, I –" Quinn heard Rachel take a deep breath. "I need to do this. I need to…to say goodbye to him –"

Quinn could hear the slight break in Rachel's voice and wished that she was there with her, to comfort her. Quinn wasn't exactly use to the physical affection, but Rachel's personality was enticing like that. It made her act in ways she'd never even felt tempted to before. "Rach…"

"I'm sorry," Rachel sobbed.

"Don't be," Quinn countered, smiling at nobody. "Listen, I'm already in Ohio – why don't you come back and we'll go for coffee, talk things over?"

Rachel laughed. "We're uh… we're actually on our way over there. Well, once Kurt gets out of class, we are."

Quinn smiled brightly. "Kurt! How's ah, how's he doing?" She could hear the shrug on the other end.

"Same as always, really. Doesn't want anyone to see him cry, but we still hear it."

"I think you were the only one who was never afraid of that."

"Yeah," Rachel laughed. "That's the drama queen in me, always looking for attention."

Quinn shook her head. "No, actually, that's the opposite. That's the honest part of you. Always looking for acceptance."

There was another, less-awkward silence. Quinn licked her lips. "Why don't you go pack, and I'll see you in a couple hours or so. Okay?"

"Okay," Rachel whispered, hanging the phone up. Quinn listened to the dial tone for a minute before realizing she hadn't gotten to say goodbye.


End file.
